Who needs naps when there is family to see!

We went to Adam's parents house for his dad's birthday on Saturday. For the first time in a long time Adam's Sister Mariola came with her daughter Emilka. It has been a long time since all three cousins (Emma, EMilka and Daniel) saw each other and it was a great success. Emma really liked playing with both of her cousins and she played her first game of hide and seek. She did want to hide in the same spot though. I think she liked to lay behind the bed. I am sorry I didn't have my video camera because she giggles so much. She really followed Emilka around and didn't like it if she was far off. They enjoyed each others company. I really wish they saw more of each other. Emilka even cried when we left...It would be a real shame to have a cousin that you don't see or talk to. We invited them to our house so hopefully that will change. Even Daniel, who is usually off watching TV at family gatherings, joined in the fun and played with both of them. When his parents wanted to leave for the first time in a long time, he wanted to stay! They played outside with the ball and all three cousins enjoyed shoulder rides from their uncle Rysiek. Needless to say we got there pretty early so Emma only slept for about 20 minutes on the way there and then wouldn't take a nap since there was too much to do. She passed out on the way home and I changed her into her pajamas as she was half asleep which she never did before. She always woke up when I changed her clothes.

Today Emma slept in to almost 9 AM so I missed church while Dad went alone. I took her to Costco with our neighbors mother-in-law and then she ate and off to bed she went. RIGHT... OH she stayed in her crib for almost two hours. The first 10 minutes alone, then she cried so I went to her, then with me for 40 minutes and finally alone for over an hour crying in between. No luck she just refused to nap. Now I know some people think she may not need naps anymore. She does since she usually naps almost 2 hours. She gets cranky without them and today she was definitely cranky and wanted her mommy non-stop and her blanket and pillow. She only does that when she is sick or tired. My guess is tired... We finally gave up after 4 PM after I sorted the pile of bills and mail from the last three month. We went to Agnes's for some barbecue food and family time. Thank God because I really needed a break. Emma still wanted her mama for the first hour or so but finally played with her cousin Ashley and kind of wondered around a bit without me so I got to sit down and actually talk with adults which is always nice. I saw Evelyn and Marissa who looks good and ready to give have her baby soon. It was kind of cold and I hope Emma wasn't too cold. She did have a jacket but had capris on. We left after 8:30 PM, got home and gave Emma a much needed bath since she smelled like smoke form the fire and read her usual three books and put her to bed at 9:40PM. Bad parents...I know she had fun there as well but she should have been to bed earlier. Parental guilt is awful. I have a feeling she is going to sleep in tomorrow and I hope she won't be too cranky for her teachers tomorrow.

Sickness, shopping, and family time

Last weekend was busy. Emma is still sick so my mother-in-law came to watch her on Friday so she wouldn't have to go to daycare and hopefully recover better. Emma got a fever on Sunday afternoon (as did I) but no other symptoms. It progressed to a runny nose and by Wednesday lots of coughing especially at night. By Thursday got a colored discharge from the nose. Now she is coughing a bit less but has yellow to green boogers. Since this could be a sign of a sinus infection I am made the earliest appointment to the doctor which is tomorrow morning at 10:30 AM. She didn't eat much this weekend but did drink a lot. I got some regular shopping done on Friday after work since my mother-in-law was watching Emma. Went to New Britain for food shopping, Babies'R'Us for diapers/green cleaning products, and Trader Joe's for some food. I learned how to make these great asparagus/arugula wraps and made them for Cindy's 30th B-day we had for her at the vineyard in Wallingford. Sine Adam's mom was still with us, we took full advantage and went to the party without Emma. It was really nice to enjoy good people, good wine in a nice scenery with perfect weather. I had a nice time. We had to leave a bit earlier because Adam was going to a Stag party. I stayed home and fed, bathe and put Emma to bed. I stayed up reading while Adam's mom watched a Polish movie I already saw. On Sunday we went to church and Emma enjoyed the nice weather with Daddy. Emma was riding her trike with daddy's help of course. But she did paddle while Adam pushed her so that is progress because before she would just hold her legs on the paddles. In the meantime I put all of Emma's winter clothes away, and put the newly washed new ones (I bought her a bunch of summer clothes last week) in place. Adam's mom sawed her capri's, shorts and skirts at the waist since my Emma's waist is too small even for 18-month old clothes. Length wise she is fine but it falls off her tiny butt! Speaking of butts we are really trying to get Emma to potty train. This weekend she made a bit of progress but not much. This may have been due to her not feeling well but she refused to go potty several times and didn't call that she went poop on any of the last three days which is really unlike her. She did pee a few times on the potty. I hope to have her trained by the end of the summer- we will see if that happens. We had roasted veggies over the grill with some cheeseburgers for dinner, played three games of boccie (which Emma allowed us to do!), and had some nice walnut tart for desert after burning some calories playing boccie. Overall a really nice Sunday even with Emma being sick and a bit needy. She basically screamed for me any time I walked away for a moment. Maybe she was scared that Adam's mom was here and the last time that happened Mommy went away for 5 days! She did pass out cold while I was reading her favorite books before bed so no prayers for her last night. By the way her favorite books are "Kaczka Dziwaczka" which is "the weird duck" a real nice rhyming book. "Odrobinka" which is about this little doll/girl and finally "Krolowa Sniegu" which is the "Snow Queen". She makes us read all three before bed for both night time and nap time! Sometimes she sneaks in even more books.

Busy Memorial Day Weekend!

Boy am I tired. It was a Memorial Day weekend full of yard work and visits. On Saturday we planted the pots and weeded and replanted some of the flowers in all the beds. Emma 'helped' take the dirt out and spread it all over the sidewalk and managed to put at least some in the pot. She did the same with the cocoa mulch but she sure had fun doing it. After Emma woke up from her nap we went to Agnes' house for a barbecue. It was a nice to see everyone, chat, have a couple of drinks, eat some barbecue food, and chill. Emma kept us busy playing badminton or at least she tried and we ran around with balls. She saw the opened pool and wanted desperately to get in and was not happy we told her it was too cold. She also tried her first cupcake with all the sugary frosting which she liked...gee maybe it is true what they say that the kids will be like their godparent of the same sex. At least Polish people say that. I don't have a sweet tooth but Agnes and apparently Emma sure does...

On Sunday we cleaned the house a bit or at least got to the floors because we were tired and it rained a bit we didn't get much accomplished. I played with Emma and read her a lot of Polish books. After her nap we went to see her other Godparent, Rysiek, Adam's brother. It was Alina's birthday a couple days before so we celebrated that. Emma had fun watching TV and playing in the basement with her godfather. She didn't eat much...

On Monday we planted the rest of the vegetable garden and managed to plant some flowers up on the hill. We will see if any of them come up. We even tried some pumpkin but it's really dry up there so who know if anything will come of it. Emma of course 'helped' out a lot mainly to stomp on the dill and tomato plants which managed to wildly spread across my entire garden like weeds. We dug some out and gave some to my neighbor and Adam took some to work for people who garden. We planted cucumbers. Emma put the cucumber seeds in the holes and helped me cover the holes. She also enjoyed walking over the just planted areas....We also planted zucchini, tomatoes, eggplant, cilantro, mint, and some parsley because the plant died over the winter and did not come back this year. I put it near the other herbs such as the lemon thyme and rosemary and dill that come back year after year. The lettuce, spinach, salad mix, and radish are all coming in nicely. Some of the radish is big enough to eat already and so is the spinach. The salad and lettuce need more time and the snap peas got a ways to go. I also sprayed the roses, peonies and flowers for mold and spot conditions since one of my roses is definitely affected by something of that nature. Adam sprayed year long weed/everything killer on the rocks by the porch and the sidewalk. Emma helped to spread the mulch, ate and went straight to nap since it was after 2 PM and she usually naps right after 1 PM. She has been going to nap late this whole weekend! After she got up we went to our neighbor's house. Ula had her baby last Tuesday and Emma enjoyed watching the baby sleep and the older baby ( a 3 month old Kevin, Ula's brother's son). We had some barbecue and talked. It was really nice warm dry weather day. Perfect memorial day. I even got some sun. I went home to give Emma a much needed bath as she got quite dirty planting our garden. She didn't eat much this weekend and what she did eat was really not healthy. Lot of hot dogs, snack food, and sweets but unfortunately that was all that was available during barbecues. We had barbecue 3 days in a row for dinner. She did manage to eat some fruit for breakfast at least. She also went to bed late around 9:30 PM which is about an hour later than usual and slept most days until close to 9 AM. That's what long weekend are for right? Overall we had a good time and got a lot accomplished althought there is always more work waiting...

After the Trip

After the trip, Emma took some time adjusting to her schedule again and is still not fully adjusted mainly because she was ill for 3 days and I went to Wisconsin for 5 days for training. She developed a fever the day we left Jamaica. She already felt warm on the plane and when we got home she had a 101F. She had a fever for two days and then the fever broke on Friday but unfortunately she also started vomiting. We took her to the doctor and it was just a virus but with this whole Swine flu we wanted make sure. She only vomited that day and was better by the evening and things took a turn for the better and we never gave her the prescription for the vomiting. That was Friday and we just chilled on Saturday not doing much of anything really since she still wasn't feeling that great. On Sunday we went to church and spend a little time before Adam took me to the airport at noon to go to Wisconsin. My sister was taking Emma to daycare in the morning since Adam was gone before she got up. My mother-in law, who stayed with Adam and Emma, got her going in the morning and made them dinner each night. Emma wasn't asking for me the first couple of days and I though she didn't really miss me. She would ask for me and they will just tell her I was at work and she wouldn't ask again. To be honest it hurt my feeling a bit. I really missed her and as it turns out she really did miss me as well. The last day before I came back is when she really had a hard time and kept asking for me. When I got back home Thursday night she just kept saying "Mama" over and over again and touching me and laughing almost like she couldn't believe I was really there. It brought tears to my eyes. She cried out that night screaming for me and Adam went to her and it did not help at all. I went in and just said I was there and she went right back to sleep. I guess she wanted reassurance I was really back. She really missed me and wouldn't let me do anything without her for a couple of days. Today she finally got a little better. I am glad I didn't stay longer and was able to take Friday off to spend more time with her even when I ran errands she was still with me and I think that helped. We spend more time together today even though I am really not feeling well. Adam worked this morning and helped out a lot when he came home. I really didn't do much this afternoon mostly because these pain killers make me really woozy. He was a great help. It took her a long time to fall asleep tonight. It was well past ten and I kept hearing her talking. It's now 11:40 PM and I haven't heard anything coming out of her room but Adam didn't come out either so I think he fell asleep. I better go get him...

Our Jamaica Trip.

We had a blast on our Jamaica Trip. I will post some photos and when I figure out how to add videos from my camera I will add that too but it may take me a while since I don't have much time.
Emma did great the entire trip even though she was getting all 4 of her molars! She did great during the day but got up several times at night. She was a bit scared on the plane at first when we hit turbulence but quickly overcame her fear and was fine the rest of the trip. She didn't complain even though it took us over 12 hours for the entire trip before we were in the hotel room. When we arrived at Beached Boscobel they were having a parade that also had Sesame Street Characters and Emma just could not believe that Elmo was there in person. It's the only character she really knows because she doesn't watch much TV. She got to know more during this trip though. Our room was pretty big and nice enough. You could tell it wasn't new but it was clean and well kept. The resort on the other hand was very nice. Nice pool area, nice water park, nice but small beach (a bit of seaweed the first few days due to storms). They had great food at the buffet and the adult only restaurant. The other restaurants were also good but not spectacular. There were also activities throughout the day. At least two things featuring Sesame Street characters. Usually a stage show with music which Emma loved. They also had a nice Reggae band at the buffet which Emma joined on several occasions to help shake things up. Emma's favorite things on the trip were the beach and the water park. The beach was basically a huge sandbox with a water element. The last two days she finally went in the water and got quite comfortable in it. The water park was also a joy. She was scared to go in at first but once she did she didn't want to get out! The water park had three slides that you could take a small child like Emma and go down the slide with them. Emma was a bit hesitant at first but once she tried it she loved it. She went several times with both me and Adam. She even went underwater a couple times when going down the slide because my footing slipped and I went under holding her. She was under for what seemed like eternity and I was terrified she would freak out. She was a bit shaken but once the water was out of her eyes she was fine and didn't even want to get out of the pool. The last day we went to the pool she went down smaller kid only slides all by herself with us at the bottom to catch her of course. I found that to be very impressive since she was only 25 months old. She kept wanting to go over and over again. I was very proud. In the pool, she kept thinking she could just let go of me and swim on her own. She stayed in the daycare one day for a couple hours as a trial for the next day when we went to Dunns River Falls which are these falls you climb so you can't take a young child. She did fine both days and got to see the Sesame Street Characters and take pictures with them. The trial day we spend in the larger pool where we floated on mattresses and drank at the pool bar. It was nice to have some adult time. We also went to the Dolphin Cove where all of us petted the dolphin which Emma was scared of and would not touch. She loved it from a distance and like it when when he splashed her but up close was a bit much for her. We bonded more as a family. Emma learned more Polish and got a bit more brave. It was definitely a great vacation which was too short. But good times always go by too quickly. I would definitely go for at least a week and a half next time. If you do excursions which we did two of, and count in the two days of travel, you only get 3 days at the resort really which is not nearly enough time to enjoy everything the resort has to offer. We did do some kayaking, some sailing and at the dolphin cove we went snorkeling but there were more activities offered that we did not have time to do. We definitely all felt we could stay longer! But now it's back to reality. I am very glad we went. There were so many bad things that happened before we left for the trip that I felt really guilty for going. Sort of when you know so many people around you are having a hard time and you just go up and go on vacation. However, we had planned it way in advance and had no idea all these things were going to happen. The trip really helped I think. We did relax and enjoy ourselves. On Sunday night, when we went to dinner to the adult only restaurant and Ewa stayed with Emma, we talked about this. We both teared up talking about Andy, my grandfather, Paula but also agreed it's things like that that really make you aware how precious life is and how we should enjoy it because you really don't know how long you have together. Life is unpredictable and we don't want to have regrets that we didn't do this or didn't go there. This is why we went on this trip and why we will continue to do things to enjoy life as much as we can....

Andy's Funeral April 27, 2009

The last two days have been very difficult. I have seen and done so much crying that it doesn't seem possible. A friend dies too soon and there is no cure for the ache left inside. I almost smirk as I write this because how can I talk about my pain compared to the pain his wife and children must feel and his family and close friends. I hope they they know we are all praying for them...The wake and the funeral were difficult but very lovely. Andy looked so peaceful as he laid in his last resting place. The heartache observed was almost too much to bare. The funeral was very touching. The weather was beautiful as if God smiled upon Andy's family so they can say goodbye on a nice beautiful day...as beautiful as Andy was... There were so many people who showed up. So many people loved him. He was truly a great human being to have touched so many lives. He leaves behind a legacy of being a great husband, father, relative and friend but most importantly as a great human being who had to gift of always making you laugh...this is how I will remember you Andy; with a great big smile on your face. Rest in peace...

Does Technology Help or Hurt?

I spent most of the last two days looking through people's blogs and facebook and texting. It was through a text that I found out a friend died, a baby was lost, and that people are "OK". Through blogs and facebook I found out how others are dealing with the painful events of the last two days; the death of friend, the loss of a baby and the anniversary of a child's death. While going though blogs and facebook gives me an incite into how people are dealing with their pain, I start to wonder about the old fashion of finding this information out. Meeting face to face to talk about it. We need to have personal emotional connections. Is talking face to face better or worse? Sometimes the pain is too great to discuss it openly and this is where blogging and texting makes it easier to share the news and feelings without the agony of telling that person in person. It can be too difficult to talk about while holding back tears and exposing our raw emotions. We somehow feel that we shouldn't show that much emotion with other people. That it is somehow wrong to show how much you are hurting when you see others hurting even more around you. It's difficult to show that you are scared and feel hopeless when you are supposed to be stronger than that... So maybe blogging is a way for people to release their feelings of pain, hurt, and anger all the while still guarding themselves. I know it is easier for me to type how I am feeling through my tears and anguish than to talk about it. I still can't mention Andy without crying and if I have to tell someone, even through the phone, a huge lump gathers in my throat, and I can barely get the words out. It hurts to think of the lost babies. But somehow writing it is less painful...somehow it makes it just that tiny bit better to share a lit bit of ourselves with written words rather than brokenhearted spoken ones. So share your emotions and your pain in person to those closest to you and don't be afraid to share your raw emotions since it is necessary to have these personal connections but also let others in your life through the key stokes on your keypad... Everyone deals differently with grief and however you chose to deal with it and share it, whether it is in person or in a blog, it's the right way...as long as you are not bottling your emotions. Getting your emotions out through any means is the most important...

Gone too soon...

I am crying as I write this. Our friend Andy lost his battle with cancer today. He was 34. He has a loving wife and two small children, A.J who is 4 and Alex who is 1. He found out he had cancer less than four months ago and a little over a month ago found out there was no hope for a cure, the cancer spread too much. It just seems so random. He had no family history of cancer of any kind. He was an otherwise healthy active police officer. I had another friend, Mike, who died last year May 19th; also from cancer and also 34 years old. He never got the chance to get married (he bought an engagement ring right before his diagnosis) or have children. I don't know which is worse... Is anyone safe? It makes you appreciate the people in your life who care and are there for you whether there are family or friends. I can't image the pain Jaime is going through. The anger, the hurt, the worry for her future for her children. I wish I could help somehow but I feel that no matter what I do or say it won't help much. Each person grieves differently. I bought her some books for her and her children on dealing with death of a spouse or parent and I hope they provide the smallest of help. She has a lot of family and friends who really care and will be there to support her but it is still not fair. For those who read this please pray for Andy's soul and for Jaime and her boys to have the strength to endure this tragic loss...